I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can I color on your dick again?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
