I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
