Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
