im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
