Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Do vagina's smell?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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