she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I need moral support for this bender
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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