Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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