normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
