3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
