I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
