why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
