break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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