His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
