im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
