why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
