I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
