I am in a vortex of obligation.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
