After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
