Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
