White coat. Heels.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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