Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My balls are so social today.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
