Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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