shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
