I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
