Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
