These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
