Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
