i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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