I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
