We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
