When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
