My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
