so let's talk penis.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
