You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Farmville is her only friend.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
