Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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