just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
