It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
