Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
