dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
