Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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