We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
