So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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