I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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