their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
