Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
