I think I am morally bankrupt
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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