I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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