then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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