you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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