There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
